March Madness: Final Results

(note:  Lacey, your email address you left in the Ask Lady Shanny box is not valid.  If you want an email back from me, please resend with corrected address)

Hi April!  Nice to see you!  Since you’re finally here, does that mean it’s going to start getting warmer outside?   

March Madness is over and I have my final tally ready.  I should point out that I was uber-annoyed this evening when I weighed since I am up over a pound and a half from yesterday morning.  Some things about being a girl SUCK!  But since I am honest and I report my actual weight I reported the higher number, what it actually said 5 minutes ago.  During March Madness I lost a total of 10.2 pounds.  That means that I surpassed my goal of losing between 8-10 pounds in March by 0.2!!!  Good job, ME!!!  How did you guys do?  Final results in the comments if you’re willing.

I received an email the other day asking me when I was going to post a new picture.  Since I am almost a full 20 pounds less than the last one, I think it’s time.  I have a hair appointment on Saturday and then I’m going to go and visit a friend of mine.  We’ll do the picture then and I’ll post it on Saturday evening.  I actually can’t wait to see it!  When the last picture was taken I figured I looked pretty good and that there wasn’t going to be much difference after that.  I think there will probably be a bit of a difference…especially since the yoga pants and jacket I was wearing in the shot are both too big for me to be wearing out in public anymore.  I’ve talked about skewed body perception before and until I have a picture that I can look at and examine and compare, I have a hard time really knowing what I look like.  Sure, I know that I’ve shrunk some but since I’m still me and I see me every day it’s hard to really know how drastic the change is. 

So now I need a goal for April.  I have the big out of country shopping trip planned for May 2-4 so I’m definitely going to want to be down as close to my final number as possible.  That said I will set the same goal for April; 8-10 pounds in a healthy and intelligent manner over the course of April (last weigh in would be April 29th).  At the outside of that range I would be at 167.4 which would put me right at the high edge of my self-prescribed range.  Any ideas on what I should call it? April Attitude?  Astronomical April?  OK, I suck at being creative like that.  p4p, want to name it this time?  (if you’re playing, that is) 

That’s all I have for you this evening.  Not because I’m waffling about the website again, don’t worry.  I’ve just had a rather bumpy afternoon, intestinally, and I’m feeling shaky and overall not so great.  I’ll be fine in a short while, I know what it was.  I guess what I learned today is that when you go to The Giant Coffee Chain and order your drink with soy, you should actually WATCH them and make sure that they make your beverage with soy.  Especially when the guy didn’t understand your order to begin with so you had to repeat it and then you get your beverage and notice that they did not write on the cup or the sleeve what you actually ordered.   So when an hour later you think you might be dieing, the chances are pretty good that they didn’t actually USE the soy beverage.  Right.  Lesson learned!  Thank heavens that today is a no exercise day in my schedule! 

March Madness: Weigh In #4

I’m ever so sorry that I forgot to give you guys my March Madness update on Tuesday.  The goal of March Madness was to lose 8-10 pounds in the month of March (last weigh-in for me will be April 1) in whatever manner you choose, the only rule being that you have to do it safely and intelligently.  So far in this challenge I’ve lost 9 pounds leaving me with only 1 pound to lose this coming week to meet the outside parameter.  Not bad!  I really think that having an actual numbered goal to meet in a numbered period of time is a great idea because then you have something real to aim at. 

Now, moving on. 

Do you ever remember as a kid your mom saying to you, “No, you don’t need anything else to eat today.” when you were whining for a snack or a treat?  Do you remember if it was because you were bored or wanted comfort or attention?  I do know that this last week I’ve been whining for a snack or a treat in the worst way!  I’ve been working crazy long hours for the last 2 weeks and I think my snack needs are actually misread sleep needs.  Plus it’s Fourth Week right now which totally doesn’t help and it feels like FW has been dragging on forever! 

For the last two weeks, every morning I get up at a completely unreasonable hour, have breakfast over an hour and a half earlier than I normally do and then by 7am I’m starving.  What I’ve done is made my day about 2 hours longer but I’ve left my meals and snacks in the same places.  My brain thinks “It’s time to eat because normally we take our coffee break 3 hours after we have breakfast.”.  Unfortunately 3 hours after I have breakfast these days is still 2 hours before coffee time.  So I think even though my exercise has stayed the same I probably need to add in another small snack (and not just move calories around,sticking with my standard 1250) to avoid any ‘hanging on’ of calories.  I know long hours, routine change and added stressors can cause me to want to bury myself in food and not come out for awhile.  Purposely adding something else in to the day’s food will certainly help me stay content long enough to avoid that.

I think that this is all rubbing off on my exercise too.  The past couple of days I’ve had the worst time trying to convince myself to get out and run.  I’ve done it but I’ve been bitter and twisted about it.  And while I’m doing it I feel like I have a water buffalo tied to each leg, my breathing is very wheezy and the voice in my head that tells me I have to stop drowns out my iPod.  So is that from Fourth Week?  Or is it harder to exercise when you are mentally tired and when you’ve changed up your routine.    Not to be completely stupid, but I really don’t know since I’m pretty much making this up as I go along.  I’ve added an extra couple of hours to my day in the morning but I’m going to bed at a pretty reasonable time and I’m getting around 8 hours of sleep (sometimes a titch more).  If you shift your total sleep time up by two hours, are you getting less rest?  Or is 8 hours the same no matter what time you go to bed or get up at?  Does this all have any effect on performance in exercise?   I hope these questions don’t make me sound completely stupid.  Since I’m pretty much making this up as I go along, I’m bound to run into these bumps in the road.  This particular bump is going to go on for the next 4-6 weeks at least so I’m going to have to find some way to navigate around it.  Maybe like any change it will get easier as time goes by…maybe this is just the adjustment phase.  I think the first step is definitely eating a little more to make up for those extra hours. 

Do you guys have any thoughts?  Anything that you’ve noticed?  Have you had a hard time getting weight off when you’ve changed your routine even though you haven’t changed your calorie intake or burnoff?  Have you gained weight during the adjustment?

March Madness: Weigh In #3

I had success this week, weight wise (I know, ONE day has passed since I said this was no longer a weight loss blog!) and the results page is updated.  I have only a range of 0.4 – 2.4 pounds to lose by April 1st and 2 weeks to do it.  I’m right on track!

I don’t have time to write anything much tonight.  I’m just waiting for the brussel sprouts to cook and then it’s dinner time. Following that I have an evening packed full of stuff since tonight is my rest night for exercise…HA!…there will be no actual resting!  I have to zip up to Costco, I’m making a cake for one of the boys at work…the one who brought me apple crisp last week, I’m getting started on cleaning my spare room up and the plan there is to be completely RUTHLESS!  I’ve been cleaning like crazy over the last couple of days.  Not that I don’t normally keep a pretty clean house, I do.  But it almost feels as though I’m cleaning out the last vestiges of the debris and detritus from ‘the old life’ so that I can move on in full into the new one.  I know, I manage to find symbolism in just about everything…it’s what keeps me learning and growing.  Anyway, I’ve been cleaning and while I’ve been cleaning I’ve been thinking and I have to say, things are coming up…well…cleaner!

Thanks to you guys who commented and told me that you’ll still be reading, I appreciate it!  I appreciate every single one of you! 

OK, the brussel sprouts are done now I have to run!

Pork Balls From Heaven!

I left a comment on p4pretention’s site just a minute ago and thought I would expound on those thoughts here.

We’re in the middle of March Madness right now so I had my whole weekend all planned out.  I had my snacks and my activities all laid out with the intent of staying RIGHT ON COURSE all this weekend.  Ha!  The best laid plans.

I woke up this morning at my regular time to have breakfast and then trot on back to bed for a little nap.  Problem!  The power went out at 6:30 this morning and didn’t come back on.  So my quick errands that I needed to run were delayed while waiting for power to be restored.  So I went back to bed which meant that coffee time and lunch time were delayed.  which meant that my water drinking fell behind (yes, I am THAT scheduled!).  Anyway, I zipped up to the mall to buy a new pair of work pants that fit (success!) and then came home.  At this point the plan was still salvageable.  And then?

I got a last minute phone call from a boy asking me if I wanted to go for dinner at his friend’s house with him.  He was going because they have an upcoming trip that they needed to finalize and he wanted me to come with him.  Ummm…sure!  Since I had no real plans to speak of I couldn’t think of any reason not to go. Plus, I quite like him and I liked the thought of spending some time with him.  (I’ll deal with the lack of notice thing at some other point…Shanny does not do spontaneous!)   So the plan?  Completely thrown to the wind!

Dinner ended up being chinese food (oh my God, so good!) and there was some pre-dinner, hockey watching beverages to be had.   (by the way, it turns out that chinese food and beer makes me crave a cigarette….)

When I got home this evening I sat down and did a bit of thinking.  I realized as I was sitting there eating, that with the exception of the boy (who, I sometimes wonder if he’s noticed), the couple whose house we were at don’t know that not so long ago I was 70 pounds heavier.  To them I’m just a normal sized person.  And that’s odd to me because this has been such a huge thing going on over the last few months.  It also makes it slightly more difficult when someone tries to serve you seconds and you refuse because they don’t understand why not and so they tend to think you’re being demure or polite.  They don’t know that to stay a normal weighted person that I run every night, that I weigh and measure everything that I eat, that I get on the scale every morning.  They don’t know the emotional and mental struggle that I’ve gone through to become a normal weighted person.  To them I just am. 

And now I get the weekend indulgence thing.  It’s not so much that I have to throw my entire plan out the window on Friday night, just that I can veer a little off course on the weekend without having to chalk the whole thing up as a failure.  Would I have said no to this date for the fear of having to eat off my self-prescribed plan?  No way!  Will I make it a habit to eat chinese food and drink beer every Saturday night?  Not so much!  Will I relax my restrictions occassionally so that I can actually live the life I have been working so hard to build?  Absolutely!

I’ll be back at some point in the not so distant future to talk about this boy thing.  I have some concerns/issues with the whole dating thing that I need to somehow get worked out.  I have wanted to write about it here for quite some time but I don’t quite know where to start or how to do that since some of the stuff is incredibly personal and makes me cringe to even think about writing it down (vulnerability and looking stupid and all that).

I should say that this particular boy is very nice to me, courteous, gentlemanly and sweet.  He has a good laugh, laughs at my silliness and clearly wants to spend time with me.  This is all so very different than what I’ve engineered in the past.  I’m also pretty fortunate that this particular boy had/has some reservations about us dating and so things have started out very slow and that’s just fine by me!  So far I’ve done pretty good about putting things into context and not getting overly invested.  While that might not seem like a big deal to some people it’s very much like swimming upstream for me!

Serves Me Right (but in a good way!)

So ya, the eating disorder thing.  Definitely go and read the comments in the previous post.  The ones from Princess Darcy are hilarious (that’s my twinny) and JanB had a great thought too.  I expounded on my thoughts as they relate to hers and also there is someone in the comments asking for advice.

So wouldn’t you know it, the day that I am accused of having an eating disorder and starving myself, one of the foreman showed up to work with a generous serving of his homemade apple crisp for me.  I don’t actually remember asking for a taste, probably because I never for one second thought he would bring any.  But he did…this morning.  Once I realized that he wasn’t kidding I got kind of nervous (kind of?  how about a little panicky!).  This offer of apple crisp came directly on the heels of a conversation with my dear friend about how occassionally I’m going to have to start treating myself and not call it a failure.  One of my new things to work on is definitely going to be how to indulge a bit but still have the next meal or the next day right on target.  So, golden opportunity, right?  You bet!  Aside from a certain person who kept saying he wanted to WATCH me eat it (ya, cause that won’t make me more nervous!), it was actually the perfect opportunity to indulge a little, completely unplanned, and then get right back on track.  So I did.  And it was incredible!  Buttery and sugary and crispy and DELICIOUS!!!!!  I actually realized while I was eating it that I haven’t had anything with the real butter and the real sugar in a very long time.  Even my occassional indulgences are within a certain guideline (eg. sugar free hedgehog = 3pts) and I mark them down in the food journal.  How do you mark something like this down?  There is no way…and I’m actually alright with that.  I didn’t think I would be but I guess it’s one of those things you have to actually DO to see what’s going to happen.  Today was a weird day!

Today is also weigh-in day!  Did you forget?  I didn’t.  I moved weigh-in time to the morning and marked down my loss this morning.  Since I was already doing a post this morning I thought I would wait until this evening to give you the update.  It’s a good bloody thing that I did, too!  Apparantly my subtraction skills are not all that they could be at 5:05am!  The difference between last week’s weight (185) and this week’s weight (182.8) is…wait for it….NOT 1.2 pounds.  It’s actually 2.2 pounds.  And in a way?  I almost feel like I was supposed to think that I had a below normal (for ME) loss this week so that I could do the indulging thing even though I figured that I should have lost more.  Ya know what I mean?  It was almost as though the extra pound off was a little reward for stepping into new territory this morning.  That theory probably sounds questionable but I’m sticking with it. 

So for March Madness I am down a total of 4.8 pounds with only a range of 3.2 – 5.2 left to go and 3 weeks to do it in.  Totally do-able!  How is March Madness going for the rest of you?

March Madness: Success

My co-hort in this month long challenge did a post today that outlined exactly what it takes to make her successful (successful defined as a lower number on the scale each week).  And then she suggested that I do the same.  So here it goes.

I am most successful when I: track my food.  There are some things that I don’t write down anymore but for the most part writing it down helps me to stay fully on course.

I am most successful when I:  remember how far I’ve come.  It can become very microscopic day after day and it’s easy to forget that it isn’t just one day that makes for success.  While each day is important, it’s the overall effort that matters.

I am most successful when I:  pay attention and reassess on a regular basis.  What might have worked for me a month ago may not work anymore.  I am pretty vigilant about assessing my routines and habits to make sure that they are still working for me.

I am most successful when I:  throw a bit of challenge into the mix.  If I get bored or I find that it’s getting too easy I don’t FEEL as successful.  The feeling I get by challenging myself a little (eg. cutting out dairy, quitting smoking, pushing the exercise) is almost as important as seeing that number on the scale go down.

I am most successful when I:  am in complete control.  When there are no food surprises I am definitely the happiest.  Being required to eat out or having to eat off my self-prescribed program makes me nervous and uncomfortable.  That’s something that I will soon start working on. 

I am most successful when I:  talk about the whole process with people who understand.  That can be anything from blog posts, comments to other people’s posts, reading other posts, reading my own website and mostly, talking to a couple of very dear friends.

I am most successful when I:  pull it together and make a plan.  That one is a bit of a misnomer since I always have a plan.  I have not missed making a work lunch in 27 weeks and I’ve only forgotten that lunch at home ONCE (and then I drove alllll the way back home to get it so I didn’t have to eat off the plan).  I have not ordered out, ordered in or driven through in 27 weeks. 

I am most successful when I:  keep an eye on the negative self-talk.  I try to stay pretty concious of what is going on in my head and put a stop to it as soon as I notice.

Obviously all of those things don’t always come together at the same time.  But to get a couple of them going at the same time is a must for me to see consistent losses on the scale.  I’ll be interested to see what happens when the weight stops coming off when I’m done because I will have to find a new way to define my success.

Anyway, if you’re on board with March Madness, feel free to do this post on your own website.  And for the couple of you who do not have websites?  Feel free to do it in the comments right here.  The more the merrier!

March Madness

Remember when I was talking about the fact that I set myself a goal of losing 8-10 pounds by the end of March?  Well someone jumped on board with me and now we’re having a mini-challenge.  Not a challenge in the competetive sense of the word it’s just a time-driven goal.

p4pretention is the one who is in on it with me and she introduced our challenge on her blog today so I thought I’d better introduce it here too.

Anyone who wants to do it with us is more than welcome, announce your wagon-hopping in the comments.  We are all going to have the same goal (lose 8-10 pounds by the end of March) and we all have to follow the same ONE rule:  do whatever you want to do to lose those pounds in a healthy and intelligent manner.

That’s it, hop on board with us if you like.