Where Did You Go?

More to the point, where did I go!  I’m still here.  Specifically where I am right now is sitting on the sofa in my jammies watching The Ten Commandments (1956).  I LOVE this movie so I will be right here for the next 4 hours watching it.

In all the things that have changed in the last 7 months there has been one common thread that I have been aware of but haven’t really noticed, if that makes any sense.   That commonality is that things are successful and more easily achievable when you are ready.   I do believe that it is possible to do anything at anytime but in my experience if you aren’t ready mentally or emotionally or physically then it is far more difficult and uncomfortable and you have less likliehood of maintaining your achievment. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that everything becomes clear given enough time and to force something outside of its natural timeline is simply putting undue pressure or stress on everyone involved.  Things tend to work themselves out if you are watchful for the small signs.  For example when I started to lose weight it was because there were several small signs over a short period of time that lit up what had always been a very dark path and I was able to make the decision to put my life back on course.  While the signs may have come in a short period of time I know that I was preparing for this for a good number of years before it happened.  Had I waited, or worse not noticed the signs, I do believe I would have missed the timing altogether and I shudder to think what would have happened.  But I did notice and I did slip through a small window of opportunity and I was absolutely ready to do all the work that came with it.  I’m not saying that because I happened to time it right that there was no effort or struggle involved, quite the opposite in fact.  

The same circumstance held true for quitting smoking and taking up running so if my theory is solid then shouldn’t it logically also hold true for dating?  I don’t believe that there is one person on the planet that we’re each destined to be with, I think that we can ultimately be happy with many different people (hopefully just one at a time though!).  What I mean by my theory holding true for dating is that for each relationship or each person there is going to be a natural timeline specific to that situation.  I think that a person has to be aware of what the timeline is and then just watch for signs and be ready to squeak through those windows of opportunity.  The opportunities to have certain conversations or take certain actions will naturally come up (or not, that’s a sign too), you just have to be paying attention to notice them and then act on them.  Not to say it might not be a little uncomfortable but it will be far less so than if you’re trying to jam something into an unnatural timeline.


  1. Marueze said,

    March 23, 2008 at 6:21 am

    Windows of Opportunity. . . like that anology (sp) so the shade needs to be up and the glass cleaned with Windex. 🙂

  2. Bev said,

    March 23, 2008 at 10:41 am

    I agree with your windows of opportunity for good health, quitting smoking, taking up fitness but I think there is another dimension when you apply it to dating. I’ve thought about this alot myself. Because there is another person involved, their window of opportunity has to mesh with yours. When you throw that into the mix the percentage of possibility does go down. I’m not trying to be negative, but I’ve thought many times, ‘I’m ready for a relationship’ but the person that ‘Fate’ or ‘God’ has for me is not at that point in THEIR life. And so I have to wait for what is intended for my life. And if you’re like me, you’re not so good at waiting! That’s when we get into trouble, when we try to force issues which I know you’ve talked about on your website. Whatever we force seems to work out at first or in that moment but it does not have true lasting power. Not sure if that makes sense.

  3. Marueze said,

    March 23, 2008 at 3:39 pm

    Guess that is why there are so many songs about waiting and anticipation. 🙂

  4. Lady Shanny said,

    March 23, 2008 at 5:22 pm

    Bev, thanks for the constant encouragement! I get that the other person has to have their window open a crack too. But since a person can’t control anyone else’s window we can only worry about our own. Maybe the windows won’t mesh up but if we’re not watching for our own then even if they did we would miss it.

    Also, I do agree about the true lasting power. Forcing things ahead of their timeline is probably a bit like building a house with bricks but no mortar….at the first shake or strong wind it’s coming down. Yes, you might have a nice big house sooner than if you took the time to do it properly but what does that get you when it’s all rubble in 3 months?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: