Clueless Comment!

Wow!  When I woke up this morning and checked my comments as I do every morning I was none so happy to find this one on yesterday’s post: 

“Without sounding like I have some kind of eating disorder, I need to see what that looks like. I need to see what that feels like. I need to get there. I may not stay there but I do need to get there.”

If you need to say “Without sounding like I have some kind of eating disorder,” that should make you pause. Think about what your friend said about you not needing to lose weight and think about the fact that you are literally starving yourself to fit a mold that your body very likely just doesn’t want to fit. Do you really want to let yourself and your life be controlled by a fleeting cultural idea of what’s beautiful (not to mention one that’s perpetuated by multitudes of people trying to sell that idea)?

Regarding how many calories you’re limiting yourself to: There was a famous experiment on starvation and refeeding during WWII, and the study subjects back then were given 1800 calories a day. That was considered starvation level. (For more info: Losing weight is not going to make you happier, trust me.

And speaking of that, you may also want to check out this piece: <link removed>

Take care of yourself, okay?

I have to respond to it because, well because I’m beyond annoyed!

First of all, Commentor, I would hazard a guess that you haven’t been around this website very long.  A couple of parts of your comment indicate that you haven’t actually read what I write.

Like, for instance THIS post where I pretty much say flat out that I realize losing weight won’t change my life (which includes making me happy).

Or THIS post where I went to my doctor to discuss my caloric intake and exercise and what is a reasonable body weight for me to get to.

Let me make myself really, REALLY clear.  I am not ‘starving myself to fit a mold’.  It is not unreasonable to eat 1250 calories/day and I am perfectly happy there.  I’m not uncomfortable, my hair and my skin are fine, I’m not losing weight at a ridiculous rate, I’m not hungry all the time and I don’t think about food constantly.  I’m sure that you’ll say that people can talk themselves in or out of anything but rest assured, I self assess regularly (which you would know if you read my website) to make sure that I am living the healthiest life I can.   I consult a registered nutritionist on a somewhat regular basis as well as have the green light from my doctor.

As far as your saying that ‘my body very likely just doesn’t want to fit’ into the number that I’m aiming for?  Well, I guess all I can say to that is that time will tell.  As you have never seen me naked you wouldn’t have a clue how much fat I’m still carrying around or where it is.  I will say that my current weight is above where the Canadian health guidelines say it should be by about 15 pounds.  I realize that those charts should be taken with a grain of salt because they don’t take into consideration what type of build you have.  Trust me, I am not carrying tonnes of muscle around and I’m pretty average as far as bone structure goes.  So yes, I can still afford to lose some weight.

Also if you had been reading you would know that I fully admit that I have a screwed up perception of myself, that I will never be fully pleased with what I see in the mirror and that I probably won’t notice if I go too far.  As I’ve said in several posts, I have a couple of dear friends in real life who are willing to be brutally honest with me and part of that honesty will be telling me if I’ve gone too far.

And last, your question ‘Do you really want to let yourself and your life be controlled by a fleeting cultural idea of what is beautiful?”.  Answer?  I will absolutely and without hesitation allow myself and my life to be controlled by health and wellbeing and how I feel every day.  If that happens to fall in line with the cultural idea that thin is beautiful then I’ll go with it.  To continue to speak only for myself, there is a REASON that my body has dropped 65+ pounds when I started to eat healthy foods and exercise regularly.  It is absolutely expected that if doing that causes weight loss then I had the weight to lose.  And if continuing to do that causes greater weight loss then I had the weight to lose. 

In future I would suggest that you not make assumptions based on an off the cuff comment in one post.  

As an aside, please note that in your original comment as well as the repost here, I have removed the link you left.  That woman is part of (or possibly completely responsible for) the Fat Acceptance movement which I feel is a load of malarky and I will not be responsible for sending anyone to her site.  I absolutely do NOT accept my fat.  It’s the byproduct of unhealth in both body and mind and it has to go! 


  1. marieclaude said,

    March 11, 2008 at 7:04 am

    “It’s the byproduct of unhealth in both body and mind and it has to go!”

    You rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Princess Darcy said,

    March 11, 2008 at 8:57 am

    LOL… gotta love it! You’re obviously on the radar now, if people are shouting fat acceptance bullshit at you…
    1800 cal a day???? anyone with half a brain knows that that is WAY too much unless you’re training for some crazy marathon or perhaps to be a UFC fighter! You aren’t…are you?!?

  3. Princess Darcy said,

    March 11, 2008 at 9:02 am


    Okay, so I clicked the link about the ‘starvation’ experiment… and in short, it’s thus:

    the participants were given 3200!!! calories for the first phase… then cut back to 1800 for the second phase… during said second phase they were forced to consume all the calories in two meals, through starchy carbs…
    Anyone with half a brain knows that 3200 calories is WAY too high and then abruptly cutting those in half would of COURSE cause weightloss, likely of the massive amount of weight put on in the course of eating 3200 calories a day!
    Just because it’s an ‘experiment’ conducted by ‘scientists’ HOTSAUCE, doesn’t mean that it was valid then… and it sure isn’t valid now!

  4. Unknown said,

    March 11, 2008 at 10:45 am

    I have a question for everyone…what if you work your tushie off regularly, eat in the 1250 -1300 caloric range and still proceed not to lose weight for several months? Where do you go from there? I seem to be stuck in a rutt and having been overweight my whole life I don’t know what my weight I should be targetting. Maybe WW is unrealistic. HELP!!!

  5. JanB said,

    March 11, 2008 at 11:24 am

    I have to address the eating disorder thing. I have one. It’s not bulimia or anorexia. I tend to want to eat crap. I want to eat junk all the time and it got me almost to 300 pounds. So in battling this eating disorder, and I don’t know what to call it, I have had to journal every calorie. I have had to work out and eat things way differently than ever before. I don’t know any other way to fix it. But I know this, about 90% of Americans have the exact same eating disorder. Those of us who try so hard to fix it aren’t nuts, we just know where we came from and where we’re going.


  6. Princess Darcy said,

    March 11, 2008 at 11:33 am

    Unknown~ Maybe you should go to your doctor and have them do a consultation based on your current excersise and eating plan. Maybe you need to get your thyroid checked…or soemthing of that nature… if you’re being honest and you really do ‘work your tushie off’ and eat on the plan and nothing has changed for months then maybe you need to see a doctor…. or maybe you need to mix up your routine…

  7. Lady Shanny said,

    March 11, 2008 at 12:29 pm

    JanB, I completely agree with you. Actually, just this morning a situation came up where I will now be required/obligated to eat some home-made apple crisp. I say ‘required/obligated’ because it would be exeedingly rude not to in this situation so I will. Anyway, when I found out about this ‘situation’ I thought I was going to have a panic attack. First of all, am I comfortable eating a decadent treat like that in front of people? No! In my head I’m still the fattie who definitely doesn’t need those extra calories. Second of all, was I particularly thrilled to have something like that crop up that I couldn’t plan for? No! It makes me nervous and uncomfortable. That said, I do admit that I probably have “disordered eating” patterns. It’s not an eating disorder, perse, rather a set of circumstances that I need to control very closely or I will end up with all that weight right back where it left from.

    It made me very upset this morning to read a comment accusing me of having an eating disorder and of starving myself to fit a cultural ideal. The fact is, I know exactly what I have to do and how I have to behave to get the extra weight off and to ensure that I do not put any on. I am and will always be a person who has to watch what I eat and make sure to get enough exercise or I will end up with excess weight. I accept that fact and will work hard every day of my life to look like I want to look. If that’s an eating disorder then I guess I have one.

    Unknown, without knowing what your current height, weight or eating plan is like and exactly how much exercise you get, it is really hard to make any suggestions. Since it sounds like you are or have been on Weight Watchers, I guess the most basic suggestions that I have would be to calculate and track the points value for EVERYTHING, just in case your portion sizes have grown (I noticed that about myself this week). Also, I would suggest looking back on old food journals (if you have them) and see what your good week’s looked like. I would suggest constantly re-assessing. I’m assuming you’re a girl (only because 99% of the visitors here are) so the re-assessing can be really useful because each week in the month is slightly different from the one before it. Because of that, what you do for 3 weeks out of the month may not work for the next one. I would suggest completely cutting out processed foods. All calories are not created equal and eating 1300 calories in packaged foods or take out is not the same as eating 1300 calories in whole foods that your body can burn efficiently. Since I don’t know anything about your current eating or exercise plan, this ‘advice’ may do absolutely nothing for you! My last suggestion would be to always be aware of how you’re feeling. If you are feeling healthy and active and alive then you’re doing something right and your body is just not ready to let go. If you feel sluggish or lethargic or yucky then perhaps you need to make some adjustments.

  8. p4pretention said,

    March 11, 2008 at 7:05 pm

    Way to stick it to the man.

  9. p4pretention said,

    March 11, 2008 at 7:16 pm

    Also, person who posted about you having an eating disorder for wanting to be healthy is an idiot and also a twat.

  10. hotsauce said,

    March 12, 2008 at 2:39 am

    hi, me again.

    i consider myself part of the fat acceptance movement, yes. i think the thought school with that whole thing is largely misunderstood, and i hope you’ll hear me out and not leap to conclusions about who i am and what i’m advocating.

    let me start out by saying that FA is not advocating not being healthy. it is simply for the acknowledgment that weight is not necessarily reflective of one’s health, and even if it is, fat should not be stigmatized. that’s all it boils down to. striving for health no matter your size, and accepting people no matter their size. it is not a call to eat twinkies and sit on the couch all day.

    also, i am not fat, at all. i know, mind blowing isn’t it, that i’m on “their” side? kind of kills the whole laziness/sour grapes image of an FA advocate doesn’t it?

    as for not reading your whole blog, yes i admit that, and i really am sorry that i jumped to conclusions because people have done that to me before and it’s irritating as all heall. so really, i am sorry for that and i hope you’ll accept my apology because i know how much it must infuriate you to feel that you have been accused of having an eating disorder. i was only expressing a concern that you might be viewing things in a way that might not benefit you, and i based this on your one post, which did sound like you were very concerned with numbers and “good” and “bad.” that alarmed me, so i commented on it. knee jerk reaction.

    but i will say this: 1200 calories is unreasonable for most people for the long term, really truly. it definitely is for me. as for saying that 1800 is unreasonable unless you’re running marathons, that is a lack of understanding of basic physiology. i don’t count calories at all, but i’d hazard a guess that i eat around 2000 a day, a bit less maybe. i’m 5’5″ and weigh around 135 (a guess, since i also don’t weigh). and yup, i’m female, and nope, i’m not a marathon runner, although i did do one several years ago. i am active, true, but not excessively so. i do about an hour of cardio most days. i am 27, so i suppose i have youth on my side, but i’m absolutely not a freak of nature.

    anyway, i’ll stop here, but i just want to end by saying that i am completely supportive of a person wanting to better their health. i’m sorry if i came off sounding differently. however, i stand by what i said and i’m sad that you dismissed my concern by painting me as someone who just wants you to sit and eat bon-bons with me. definitely not the case.

  11. hotsauce said,

    March 12, 2008 at 2:40 am

    oops, excuse the typos. i was typing fast and not proofreading : )

  12. Lady Shanny said,

    March 12, 2008 at 5:43 am

    Thanks for the apology about the eating disorder, I appreciate it.

    We’re going to have to agree to disagree on the FA thing. I 100% agree that people need to accept what body type they have. I will never be a teeny waif of a woman and I realize that. I can, however, work to make myself the best version of me that I can.

    The FA stuff that I’ve read really soured me towards the whole thing. Especially the part where KH says over and over that “most fat people exercise more than thin people”. First of all, we both know that’s bullshit. Second, how does she know that? “Most” fat people? Did she poll them? Or interview them? She can’t possibly know that and yet she puts it on a website that hundreds of thousands of people see so that she can push her point of view. Additionally, the FA blogs that I’ve read are unwilling to accept comments that encourage them to debate or explain what they are saying, I know because my sister and I have both left some comments that were very respectful and yet had differing viewpoints or questions about their ‘facts’. No, FA as the internet uses it is ridiculous!

    I do appreciate your concern. In this circumstance however, it is unfounded.

  13. hotsauce said,

    March 12, 2008 at 8:28 am

    hi for a third time : )

    thanks for hearing me out. i do agree with you to a point. i believe that sometimes, certain people in FA do tend to overgeneralize things, to make sweeping statements, in a way that can make it sound like they are advocating unhealthy behavior. (although, i’d like to point out that the mainstream media also makes very sweeping generalizations about fat and thin.) but really, i don’t believe FA is advocating anything of the sort. i’m a regular reader of several blogs, KH included, and i haven’t turned into a gluttonous sloth. the only thing it’s done to me is to lessen the guilt i feel when i eat “bad” things.

    that’s the great thing i learned from FA: the concept of “health at every size,” and the push to not berate myself for liking chocolate and deciding to eat junk every now and then. i’m generally a very healthy eater. i’m a vegetarian, i go for whole grains, i drink my water, etc. etc., all the things The Experts tell you to do. but until i found FA, i had serious dieter’s mentality in which there were Good and Bad foods and it wasn’t a healthy mental state to have. i think a lot of women feel this way, and it rears its ugly head in little innocent comments like “oh, i ate salad for lunch today, but then i blew it by eating M&Ms from the vending machine.” those M&Ms do not cancel out the nutrients in the salad, and that’s something i’m learning, that health and food choices are a continuum, not a point A to B journey. you don’t get on a plateau of health and stay there forever, just like you don’t reach a weight and stay there, never changing. that’s where i think a lot of diets gets hairy, because diets are generally an A to B thing, where you start at a certain place and continue on to the finish line. but then what? that’s why i think it’s most important to just focus on making healthy choices most of the time, and to not sweat it if you don’t weigh what you think you need to weigh in order to be healthy, because your body will just settle where it feels good thanks to you treating it well. (that’s the universal You, by the way, not like “you” personally.)

    anyway, i’ll stop blabbing now. i did also want to pass on a reading recommendation to you if that’s okay, something that goes with what i said about A to B dieting. it’s Intuitive Eating, by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. it’s not an eating disorder book, nor is it an FA book. it’s just a very sound and sensible discussion of nutrition that i personally found really helpful.

    oh, one more thing though, about what you said about your and your sister’s experience with FA blogs. i would guess (without having known what you said obviously) that you received the reaction you did because they get a lot of people asking questions about FA or arguing certain points, and they get tired of it and brush it off. it’s obviously not particularly helpful, and i’m sorry you received that sort of treatment. some people definitely get testy — too testy sometimes. i personally don’t like the constant dropping of f-bombs, not because i’m a prude but because i think it doesn’t sound intelligent. still, i wouldn’t hold testiness or things like that against them and dismiss everything they say, because there is some helpful stuff there, too.

    okay, for real, bye. i should get back to work : )

  14. Lady Shanny said,

    March 13, 2008 at 7:26 pm

    Thanks for the book recommendation, I really will check that one out. My main goal has always been to become a healthy person. I am continually acquiring information about how different foods react in our bodies, how they are digested, what they do for us and how we can allow ourselves to run as efficiently as possible. Fat is not efficient and for that reason I believe that it is neccesary to lose the fat to gain optimum health.

    I have certain struggles (most of them I discuss very openly here) around food and there are certainly things that I need to work on. I tend to become very militant about staying on course. Fortunately I have my dearest friend to talk about this with and he sees exactly where my next steps need to be. One of those next steps is loosening up the restrictions a little (eg Rule 52) and still calling the entire week a success. I’ll get there. Relearning an entire lifetime worth of behaviours takes a long time. So the book? Yes, I will check that out. And of course those type of recommendations are alright. Even the website recommendation would normally be alright…you couldn’t possibly have known how I felt about her.

    Thanks for visiting! I do hope you come back again, while I’m certainly not interested in fighting with anyone it is refreshing to read someone who doesn’t automatically jump on whatever bandwagon is closest. I’m very much like that myself, I’m vocal about what I believe in and while I will listen to other opinions and admit when I’m wrong, I don’t back down to please anyone! At least that’s what I’m working on!

  15. lillian64 said,

    March 13, 2008 at 8:31 pm

    My scale is broken so I don’t know what I weigh. My last weight was about 4 pounds over the cute off for ‘normal’ BMI. My size 6 jeans were sliding off me today. My size 10 jeans from seven or more years ago are rather loose. I eat very few calories a day. I do strength training and take long walks. I don’t know if I would gain weight on 1800 calories, but I might. I’m vegetarian and eat whole foods, mostly vegetables and fruit.

    I read a lot of the blogs on the Fatosphere. I agree with most of what is said. My honey is what doctors would call ‘morbidly’ obese. He can’t go on a reduce calorie diet for many reasons. He is trying to lose weight slowly, but there are always obstacles in the road.

    I’m losing weight (at least inches and fat off my belly roll) due to eating a healthier diet and adding strength training 5 or more times a week to my life. I have no interest in eating sugary foods again or eating when I’m not hungry. I love the energy that strength training gives me.

    I don’t find my eating disorganized. I eat when I’m hungry. I don’t eat when I’m not hungry. Since I don’t work outside the house, I had no one try to force feed me or tell me that I’m starving myself. I’d probably snap at someone if they did.

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