I Changed My Mind UPDATED

Remember how, since the beginning, I’ve been saying that I would let my body stop losing weight where it was happy?  Ya, I’ve changed my mind!  Tomorrow is weigh in and since I weigh every day I can tell you that if there is any movement on the scale it’s going to be very small.  Which doesn’t seem quite fair given the extraordinary amount of exercise I’ve gotten over the last few days. 

The problem is that I do not think there are many more adjustments I can make to Ye Olde Eating Planne.  I’ve pretty much come to where I’m happy and content but not over fed.  As mentioned a couple of posts ago there are certain things that I don’t mark down (such as anything less than a cup of berries or my tablespoon of flax seed each morning) where I believe that there are enough health benefits that they outweigh the caloric content of the food.  Just my opinion.  I stick pretty closely to 1250 calories/day.  The only thing I could probably be doing is adding food for exercise….yes, we’re back to that.  I know, it feels like I’ve written about this a hundred times and I’m certain you guys are getting sick of reading about it.  The problem is, how do I know if I actually AM eating enough and the scale just naturally has slowed down versus I am NOT eating enough and Body is hanging onto every little bit?  How does one know?  Without some experimentation it is very difficult to figure that out.  The problem with experimentation is that it takes a few weeks for the adjustments to show up and if I make the wrong call then I could have set myself back.  What ends up happening is that I stick with exactly what I’m doing now and then lament this again in a couple of weeks.  Brilliant!

I also think that a large part of the apparant slow down is due to the overwhelming DESIRE to be a certain weight by a certain date.  Once March Madness is over I’m going to have to reassess and see what is reasonable and then make a new goal because the mental stress of thinking about this all the time slows it down…it’s happened a couple of times already during this adventure.  I have a pretty major out of the country shopping trip planned for the first weekend in May and I really would like to be as close to my finished size as possible by then so as not to buy a bunch of clothes that aren’t going to fit for a while.  I think a more constructive thought process is to remember that I am already pretty close to what the end result will be, that May 2 is still over a month and a half away and that things can always be taken in if neccessary.  Yes, that’s what I need to be telling myself.  Because things have definitely slowed down! 

I was talking to a friend of mine this afternoon about whether or not there is ever going to come a point when it’s not just fat that I see in the mirror.  I mentioned that I was still wanting to lose another 20 pounds (trust me, it’s there to lose!) and he didn’t think that was neccessary.  Maybe it’s not neccessary but it is definitely where I want to go.  Without sounding like I have some kind of eating disorder, I need to see what that looks like.  I need to see what that feels like.  I need to get there.  I may not stay there but I do need to get there.  I’m going to do that via my continued healthy eating and increased exercise.  It may take a long time but I AM GOING TO GET THERE! 

UPDATE:  It appears that perhaps Ye Olde Portione Sizes are getting a little on the large side.  Since I eat the same stuff over and over I tended to stop measuring as much.  My eyes tend to measure things in more excess than my measuring cups and scale!  How did I not notice that????

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3 Comments

  1. hotsauce said,

    March 11, 2008 at 2:21 am

    “Without sounding like I have some kind of eating disorder, I need to see what that looks like. I need to see what that feels like. I need to get there. I may not stay there but I do need to get there.”

    If you need to say “Without sounding like I have some kind of eating disorder,” that should make you pause. Think about what your friend said about you not needing to lose weight and think about the fact that you are literally starving yourself to fit a mold that your body very likely just doesn’t want to fit. Do you really want to let yourself and your life be controlled by a fleeting cultural idea of what’s beautiful (not to mention one that’s perpetuated by multitudes of people trying to sell that idea)?

    Regarding how many calories you’re limiting yourself to: There was a famous experiment on starvation and refeeding during WWII, and the study subjects back then were given 1800 calories a day. That was considered starvation level. (For more info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minnesota_Starvation_Experiment) Losing weight is not going to make you happier, trust me.

    And speaking of that, you may also want to check out this piece:

    Take care of yourself, okay?

  2. JanB said,

    March 11, 2008 at 7:10 am

    I have been going through a very similar struggle. Is my body just wanting to be in the 160-170 range or am I eating too much to keep losing. I spoke with my sister, who is also a doctor (gyn surgeon) and she said to look back through my journals at what was working for me back before I got stuck on this “plateau”. I did that and found that I was consistently at the 1200-1300 range and about 12 grams of fat. Compare that to 1850 cals now and about 50 grams of fat. I have been trying now to get back to eating the way I had been, I printed out some of my journal days and I hope to be able to lose the rest of the fat. And I do still have a ton, right on my belly, left to lose. Good luck with yours. It’s hard, but we have to decide what works for us and keep at it. It’s different for everyone.

  3. Lady Shanny said,

    March 11, 2008 at 7:12 pm

    JanB, that right there, that self assessment is how you’re going to succeed. We get complacent and it becomes very easy to let the calories creep up and the fat creep on.

    The comment above yours annoyed the crap out of me (as I’ve already said a couple of times) and it’s that belly fat that I have to lose as well. There are areas around my body that also need slimming but it’s the tummy area that’s the problem. The thing is, that’s pretty easy to disguise in pictures and in clothes. So for people (my friend in real life included) to decide that you shouldn’t lose anymore when they haven’t actually seen you? Malarky!

    It is so different and so personal for everyone. Writing these type of websites can be so tricky because we all believe that what we’re doing is the right thing…and it IS, for the one person writing it. To think that we have the answers for everyone else or that we can ‘save’ the people who haven’t seen things our way? Wasted effort, I say!


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