Cosmic Joke, NOT Funny!

I’m totally drained (which it seems is a theme today amongst the blog-women that I read).  I have some stuff on my mind that is bothering me and I’m smack dab in the middle of Fourth Week.  Also, for whatever reason I have not budged on the scale over the last week.  Some days I think I’m eating too much and being too ‘lax’ (even though the most I’ve gone into the negative is 2 points in a day) and other days I think I’m not eating enough for the amount of exercise that I’m getting.  How does one figure out which it is?  Fourth Week is not a good week to be mucking about with changing calories nor is the week that follows FW, only because neither are a good indicator of what’s actually going on.  And yet tomorrow is my last weigh in with Weight Watchers and I would really like to go out on a loss.  I bought a scale today so that I could carry on my merry way without paying to go and stand on the WW scale.  I think my new one is probably pretty accurate but we’ll see for sure tomorrow.  And as I said before, the end of WW is not the end of my plan.  It’s just the end of PAYING for my plan.  I’ll still weigh at the same time each Tuesday and post the results here (I may weigh naked tomorrow and use that number, just to make myself feel better).

I had a terrible sleep last night (I woke up a couple of times, once standing at the side of my bed with the bedroom light on, my heart racing…not sure exactly what’s up with that!) and woke up completely out of sorts and feeling like my life is just some big cosmic joke and the laugh is on me.  That is not a great feeling, let me tell you.  I’m not going to get into it here because it has nothing whatsoever to do with the theme of this website.  Also, it’s a personal issue that I’m not completely jazzed about sharing with the whole world (no offense!).  I know in the past I have written some pretty personal stuff here and you guys have all been so wonderful about making me feel better and giving me your insight.  The thing is, this is currently going on whereas the other stuff was in the past.  I have a hard time discussing my current personal events at all so this one stays in the vault….for now.

I should be going outside to walk my route this evening.  I doubt that I will get out to do it tomorrow evening and I know that even though I’m feeling like it’s the last thing in the world that I want to do, it’s probably THE time that I need to go and do it.  So I’m going to go plug my bed in, do some dishes, go for my exercise and then come home and have a sweet coconut scented shower and get in my cozy-warm bed where I will hopefully sleep uninterrupted until morning.

Finally, the contest.  I know who the winners are but I really want to do a good post with the prizes and the announcement and I’m totally not feeling it today.  So stay with me.  The names were drawn this morning by someone I work with and I have them here.  Be patient!

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3 Comments

  1. Anonymouse said,

    February 25, 2008 at 11:41 pm

    No, not funny at all. I just sent up a prayer for you. I hope you sleep soundly, with good dreams tonight.

  2. Princess Darcy said,

    February 26, 2008 at 11:27 am

    I think you’re placing unreal expectations on yourself to think you’re at a ‘plateau’ because you haven’t budged the scale in a WEEK! If that number is going to start stressing you out in this last push, because it WILL stop moving, you might want to consider weighing every second or third week instead…

  3. Lady Shanny said,

    February 26, 2008 at 9:07 pm

    Thanks Anonymouse! I’m always so moved when someone prays for me. It’s like the ultimate in nice gestures!


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