Recipes and a ‘Check Up’

As promised I put up two new recipes.  Both are really, REALLY good! 

I had a nice surprise this evening when I was puttering around the house.  I can’t remember if I mentioned it on here (and I’m too lazy to go searching for it) but there was someone that I had been interested in and between C’mas and New Year we went out.  He’s a very nice guy and I was glad to have the chance to test the waters as far as dating him.  After quite a long date we went our seperate ways with the unspoken understanding (I think) that we would not be dating again.  Totally fine!  You never know if you don’t try, right?  Anyway, this particular person called me this evening and the first words out of his mouth were “I’ve been on graveyards and I’ve missed seeing you.  I just wanted to call and check up on you.”  How sweet is that?  I LOVE being checked up on, especially when it’s unexpected like that.  Being checked up on gives me the warm fuzzies inside.

It makes me wonder though, why all of a sudden people are checking up on me.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not because I’ve become fragile or emotionally unstable, quite the opposite.  There are certain things about me that have changed since I started this whole thing.  I rediscovered my confidence and my inner flirt.  I’ve relaxed a LOT about things that I can’t control and I think overall I’m calmer than I was.  Maybe all those things make me more approachable.  Maybe the actual shrinking physically makes people more apt to want to ‘take care’ of me.  Maybe when you visibly care about yourself, other people care about you too.  I’m not sure.  What I do know is that I like it!  I like being checked up on when I’m not expecting it.  I like knowing that people are thinking about me at random times during the day.  I like knowing that the friend in the first paragraph looks out the window every morning at the time I’m walking to work and hopes I’m not freezing as I go over the bridge.  I like that another friend heard me say that I wasn’t happy (I don’t even remember saying it) and checked to make sure I wasn’t headed back down the depression road from this time last year (I’m not, don’t worry!).  I like that the stupid comment from a WW leader makes people I’ve never met before angry for how I was treated. 

I do believe that I am worthy of being cared about and checked up on.  My whole life I was always the one doing the checking up and the caring (to the wrong people, mind you).  Don’t get me wrong, I still check up and take care of my friends all the time.  But now?  I have better friends, more even friendships and I get the same in return.  Sweet!  (peas)

I still have trust issues and quirks and weirdnesses.  Sometimes I wonder if all those things make it hard for people to care about me.  And then I get a phone call from someone who has no motive other than just to call and see how I’m doing and have a chat.  Maybe I’m not so unloveable after all.

Did any of that make sense?  Does anyone understand what I’m getting at?

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4 Comments

  1. Bev said,

    February 7, 2008 at 10:35 pm

    Unloveable? That brought a tear to my eye. I never knew that you felt that way about yourself. You have to love yourself before anyone else can love you, maybe that’s what’s different. And I didn’t come up with that, it’s been said by many wise people. (you would know if you read the book!! LOL)
    I LOVE you but you already know that.

  2. Anonymouse said,

    February 8, 2008 at 1:19 am

    It all makes total sense to me. I had similar thoughts and experiences when I was thin.

  3. katapilla22 said,

    February 8, 2008 at 10:08 pm

    We all love you! This is why we come to your blog…to check up on you because we’re interested and we care. =)

  4. Lasserday said,

    February 9, 2008 at 1:18 pm

    uh-huh. totally. 🙂


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