This is Getting Old

This dragging my stuff to and from work, not having anything here during the week, not being able to shower at my own house in the morning, backpack packing, ugly clothes wearing, crack of dawn BULLSHIT is getting old!

I was so frustrated tonight when I had to get out of my cozy pajamas, pack up all my stuff for a week and go out in the cold and the dark to drive it to work that I could have cried! 

I’ve painted myself into a bit of a corner though because I can’t NOT exercise.  That was one of my concerns when I started doing this.  It’s not something that you can pick up and put down as the urge strikes you, it’s something that you have to keep doing.  I don’t mind the actual exercise and I DO have to keep doing it if only because the adjustment process was long and quite painful and I don’t want to have to go through that again.  Plus, your body becomes used to exercise and processes food accordingly.  Even mood, skin and overall feeling are affected by exercise. It’s like a drug in that you become addicted to it in a way.  The unfortunate thing is that the withdrawal process is incredibly short and painless which is why I am so frustrated.  I could easily talk myself out of doing this every day.  It sucks, trust me!  I could easily use the excuse that it’s a pain in the ass to drag my stuff around, that the conditions I’m getting ready in are not great, that it’s really cold and slippery out, that I’ve already surpassed any expectations that anyone had for my stick-with-it-ness, myself included.  Those are all excellent and believeable excuses and I have to consiously shove them out of my head on a regular basis, especially on Sunday nights because that’s all they are, excuses. 

The things that keeps me going are that I have an end date (September 1st in case you’re interested), I know the weather is going to improve and with summer brings lighter weight clothing so I might be able to carry it all with me on the first and last day of the week.  Also I’m currently shopping for/saving for a treadmill so that on September 1st I can kiss this bullshit goodbye! (if I had a spare grand sitting around right now I’d buy the treadmill and be done with this in a heartbeat!)

You would think that the thing that would really keep me engaged in this walking to work thing would be the weight loss, but surprisingly no.  The very extent of my miserableness right now is overshadowing the fact that, “the REASON that I am happy(er) with the way I look and feel is BECAUSE I work at it every day!”  And a major part of that ‘work’ is the consistent level of exercise that I get by walking to and from work on a daily basis.  So enough bitching! 

On another note, the deep fried turkey was incredible!  Just as incredible as I remember it from the last time we had it a couple of years ago.  Turkey, pork tenderloin (also deep fried) stuffing, potatoes, gravy and rolls (not a veggie to be had…this is a hockey team, don’t forget).  I ate a light dinner before the game and then had a small bit of everything and it was fantastic!  We also had some excitement at the arena and I was required to give first aid to one of the players.  If you know me in real life then you probably know I am not good with blood, mostly the flowing kind.  The injury that one of our players sustained was a gash on his chin (that ultimately required quite a few stitches to close) and I was the ‘chosen one’ to first aid him.  Strangely enough, once I realized that no one else was coming to rescue me from rescuing him, the queasiness passed and I just did it.  I was very impressed with how non-crybaby he was about it.  He was shaking a lot and it must’ve hurt terribly but I guess perhaps he didn’t want to look like a wimp in front of a girl.  I was definitely the wimpier of us!

That’s it for me.  I have a splitting headache right now and I’m going to cozy under my electric blanket…I may even leave it turned on all night long and swelter under it, just to make myself feel better.


1 Comment

  1. Marueze said,

    February 4, 2008 at 5:21 pm

    Don’t fret, Lady S…
    I think we all can TOTALLY UNDERSTAND your frustration. These changes that you have made aren’t easy, especially in the winter, it hasn’t been too bad here in NY, but I can imagine further North. But think of all the progress you have made. Seriously, although you have taken your caloric intake quite like a bull by the horns…you Know your numbers wouldn’t be as good without the walking.
    I think you are reasonable with having a deadline, and you are going to get a treadmill. Warmer weather will mean less layers and clothes – so that is a good thing.

    I read the other day that after 2 weeks w/o exercise our muscles start to weaken…however when we re-establish our routine the recovery rate is much quicker than if we never exercised before.

    I think you needed to vent. Hopefully you will keep of the great routine since you are still getting your desired results. Possibly when you are at the maintence portion of the plan you will be able to cut back a little or change the routine.

    When I have moments of aggrevation of doubt and annoyance comcerning exercise or even other stuff = I borrow the phrase from NIKE………….
    JUST DO IT…….. 😉

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