Some Things

First, the results page is updated. 

Second, have I freaked you guys out with the contests?  I have had LESS comments by about 250% since the contest started.  Don’t freak out!  It’s not like the prize is a million dollars and you have to feel bad about throwing your name in the hat! 

Something came up this evening and I wanted to address it.  What I ate and what my habits were prior to September 4, 2007.  Not good, let me tell you.  Dear Friend mentioned that for me to have had such a drastic change either I must’ve been eating A LOT before or I’m starving myself now.  Let me assure you, it is definitely not the latter (she said as she spooned black bean and corn chili, rice and sour cream into her mouth).  I had some ridiculously bad habits before.  I didn’t eat all day long and then went way, WAY overboard when I got home.  As far as giving you a rundown on what I would have eaten on any particular day?  That is not going to happen.  I have a certain amount of shame about that and I’m not really that interested in broadcasting the idiocy.  I will tell you that much like I do now, I would get ‘addicited’ to one particular thing (whatever that was at the moment) and go nuts.  I still have those same tendancies now but they are well controlled.  I eat the same thing for lunch for a couple of months and then I switch to something else.  Similar idea, better control.  I have said before (and stole the phrase from my friend) that I can account for every single pound that I was and am overweight.  I ate for comfort and to avoid paying attention to certain things that were going on or had happened in the past.  The more I could feel bad or guilty about what I was eating, the less time I had to dwell on what was really bothering me.  I also hadn’t clued in to the fact that it wouldn’t be the last (insert food item here) that I would ever have.  I didn’t realize that the first one was enough to satisfy me and no additional quantity was going to make it taste better.  I didn’t get that just because I loved it for one meal didn’t mean that I had to then eat all of it.  The ‘it’ll still be there tomorrow’ part never really clicked.  Now?  Different story.  The chili that I’m having right now I had for dinner yesterday too.  One of my favourite things is jasmine rice with this chili on top, heated up to sizzling and then sour cream and rock salt on top (7 points, btw).  So when I had it last night and then came to the end of the bowl the urge was there to serve myself some more.  The urges are still there.  It’s what I do about it.  I put the leftovers in a container and now I’m sitting here tonight having and enjoying the same thing.  I now realize that it’s not better having eaten it all in one sitting.  You don’t enjoy it as much when you’re stuffed and not paying attention to what you’re eating.  I’m enjoying it far more this evening than I would have if I’d eaten it all last night.  That’s about as much information as I’m willing to give about my previous eating habits.  Maybe that will change but I really doubt it. 

Let’s talk about something else now.  Let’s talk about the fact that the excitement has completely worn off now.  It’s been 20 weeks that I’ve been doing this.  20 weeks that I’ve been teaching myself good habits, thinking about this all the time and giving it close to all of my thought.  And now?  It’s just life.  It’s just the way it is and the newness has worn off.  I don’t doubt that a lot of people lose their drive and desire right around now.  I look pretty good and I feel great and this isn’t exciting anymore.  So how do I keep the motivation to keep going?  I remind myself every single day that the REASON that I am happy(er) with how I look and how I feel is BECAUSE I work at it every day.  The reason that my pants fit better is because I no longer eat mindlessly.  The reason that I feel better is because I keep a close eye on how I’m feeling at any given time and I compensate where needed to correct when needed.  That phrase that is in bold above is going to be the one that keeps me going for the rest of my life, repeating over and over in my head.  That phrase is going to be the rest of my weight loss and the entirety of my maintenance.  I will always be a fat person who happens to have lost weight.  Always!  I am a person given to excess and I will always have to watch what I eat and how much exercise I get.  I know that now and that makes maintaining a healthy lifestyle for the rest of my life feel less daunting.  It’s no different than how tall I am or what size shoes I wear.  It’s a part of me and will be dealt with accordingly.  I don’t go into the shoe store and buy a size 6 and expect them to fit anymore than I will eat crap and lay around and expect it to keep me slim and healthy.  It’s the way I’m made and I have to deal with that.

That’s it for me, I’m off to a rare weeknight hockey game. 

So before I go, say it with me: “I hereby recommit myself 100% for the next 7 days to this choice that I’ve made to be healthier!” 

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18 Comments

  1. Bev said,

    January 22, 2008 at 9:08 pm

    I noticed when you served yourself on Saturday night that you ate like the rest of us. There was no measuring, weighing (not that those are bad), you knew what you wanted to eat and what you had for points. After 20 weeks it’s not exciting, it’s life. No need to lose the desire, it’s just the way you do things now.
    I’ve been doing the same with dinner, my motivation is being able to have another meal the next night without having to cook again. Whatever works!

  2. Comrade GoGo said,

    January 22, 2008 at 9:11 pm

    “The REASON that I am happy(er) with how I look and how I feel is BECAUSE I work at it every day.”

    This is an amazing realization, and I’m so glad you were able to put it into words and share it with us. I’m going to be thinking about that one sentence a lot, I can already tell.

    Have fun tonight, darlin’!

  3. lost said,

    January 23, 2008 at 1:39 am

    WORD! man, you’re truly inspiring. btw, i went and signed up last night again! 🙂

  4. marieclaude said,

    January 23, 2008 at 3:39 am

    “the REASON that I am happy(er) with how I look and how I feel is BECAUSE I work at it every day.”

    Amen to that!

    Girl, you rock. Honest. I’ve hit a plateau lately that I cannot seem to break despite all my good intentions, and my motivation has been crashing like the stock exchange market the last few days. Then I read your post this morning. Gosh, thanks for the kick in the butt!!

  5. Lisa Kay said,

    January 23, 2008 at 9:02 am

    You have articulated a lot of things that I feel, but can’t find the words for.

    You’re doing a great job and I hope you have a super week!
    Lisa Kay

  6. Anonymouse said,

    January 23, 2008 at 11:33 am

    I’m still reading everything you write and enjoying your blog very much. I just didn’t know what to comment about the contest besides something like “Pick me! Pick me!” I have to go and read the rules again. My brain got a bit befuddled.

    After a few months of maintenance last time (about 10 years ago) I lost my motivation. I started slipping up here and there, intending to get under control again. Then I thought I didn’t look bad at all 5 pounds heavier, 10 pounds heavier… and then some bad things happened with my health… and now I’m working on losing over 25 pounds again.

    (May I have two entries for all these words this time? Hehehe, just kidding.)

  7. Marueze said,

    January 23, 2008 at 4:58 pm

    You appear to be in a great place. It is great that you keep commiting. That’s the thing. Some folks think that once you hit goal that’s it. They don’t know about 6 weeks maintenance. Let alone once you get to lifetime…unless you keep working the skills you have learned/acquired. . .there is a chance that the old habits may start sneaking back into the routine.

    Alot of times you hear the comment that it works if you work it. So true….. look how you have seen results.

  8. Jenn said,

    January 23, 2008 at 5:48 pm

    A life-long change is what I’m after too. I’ve spent too long ignoring my health and emotional well-being in favor of mass amounts of food. Keep it up!

  9. Krystle said,

    January 23, 2008 at 9:05 pm

    Excellent Excellent way of putting that into perspective Shannon. Your saying of: the REASON that I am happy(er) with how I look and how I feel is BECAUSE I work at it every day. I’ll remember that forever… heck, I think I’m even going to print it out and put it up in my car, at work, in my wallet, on the fridge… every where. I’m not kidding.

    You’re awesome!

  10. p4pretention said,

    January 23, 2008 at 9:05 pm

    I recently also had someone ask me what I gave up to lose weight (like, yesterday). But, I don’t really think of it as giving up anything. The two main things I’ve changed?
    I don’t eat out for lunch everyday anymore.
    I don’t eat twice as much food as I need to until I am stupid-stuffed just because I am a good cook.
    Does that mean I’ve given up something? Not really. Probably gained some health benefits. Can I explain that to a work acquaintance in passing? Seems unlikely. Luckily, I have you kids on the Internets.
    Best of luck this week and keep on taking it a day at a time.

    ; )

  11. Krystle said,

    January 24, 2008 at 8:35 am

    Just had to share this with you……. I was emailing some friends of mine who are also watching their weight, and I told them your bolded saying…. She said:

    SO TRUE. SO TRUE. I had a self talk last night. I weighed myself on
    Monday and realized I lost 3 lbs. What did I do last night AFTER fitness
    class? Ate a peanut butter bar. Way to go LINDSAY. UGH. I was so frickin
    mad. I am going to put that saying all over my house. I really am.

    🙂

  12. Tarable said,

    January 24, 2008 at 11:37 am

    I have also lost the luster of what I’m doing. Except I keep doing it. Why? Because it’s just what I do now. So I don’t get that self smugness that I used to get when I first started – and I kind of miss it. Still, I keep doing what I’m doing because ultimately it makes my body feel good which makes my head feel good.

    But yeah, the honeymoon is definitly over.

  13. Lady Shanny said,

    January 24, 2008 at 12:21 pm

    Tarable, your phrase ‘lost the luster’ describes it perfectly! So how do we keep the same level of committment when it’s not exciting anymore?

    Is this where the buddy system comes into play? That we get some of our motivation not from ourselves but from others? Is that even more important now? Or are we missing something?

    I’m finding it not ‘hard’ to keep going, just a little bleh. Feasibly, I could stop now and be pretty happy with where I have ended up but I know I have more that I want to do.

    **update** as I was typing this, Tarable just walked over and we had a little chat about this. I/we think that at this point, when the motivation and the drive has been reduced and the process is just LIFE, perhaps it would be a reasonable idea to start stopping. That is, STOP before you snack and ask yourself why you’re doing it. STOP and figure out what you’re actually needing (sleep, water, snuggle) before we mindlessly eat. Perhaps this is the next stage?

  14. Tarable said,

    January 24, 2008 at 1:25 pm

    Here’s a thought… maybe where we are at is a GOOD thing. Maybe this is how it feels to be “normal” and not have the obsessing about food and/or exercise. It just is what it is. We just eat this way and it’s healthy and that’s it. Nothing more, nothing less.

    Isn’t this the feeling we’ve always wanted?

  15. Lady Shanny said,

    January 24, 2008 at 1:43 pm

    Right you are. I always thought that would feel different somehow. If that’s what this is, it’s kind of a letdown! 😦

  16. Comrade GoGo said,

    January 24, 2008 at 2:03 pm

    Sometimes dieting becomes our principle hobby… But now that it’s integrated into your regular life, maybe you just need to find some additional new and awesome addition to your life! Um… like…. er…. basket-weaving? Well, you know what I mean ;).

  17. Marueze said,

    January 24, 2008 at 4:37 pm

    Maybe it has to do with focus. When we renew our dieting committment it is with new focus. So many times I hear people say that when it is going well you are in the honeymoon phase. When you are out of the phase – doesn’t mean that you aren’t doing it anymore, it just is just …as Tarable says …lackluster…not the new shiney way of doing stuff. The initial thrill is gone. The question is how do we keep ourselves going in the zone. I guess if it was easy WW would make alot less money and not be the empire that it is today.
    I know that when making better food choices I feel better, don’t get the sugar shock/stuper. But somehow I forget that I overdo the sugar at times.

    Eating better food helps my body run better. I’m at an age where this has become more important…I get aches and pains and the extra weight is detremental to my body and it’s movement.

    Maybe if I write that 100 times I’ll remember it.

  18. Katie said,

    January 25, 2008 at 3:14 pm

    Shanny, you make me feel so good knowing that pretty soon my good eating habits will be part of my life and i won’t even think about it.


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