Rain = Refreshing

You can go check out the results page, it’s been updated… 

Today was a pretty good day, overall.  There was a sketchy hour or so close to the end of the day where I needed to make, what I think, was a milestone decision.  I had to decide once and for all whether I was done with the old ways.  To be truthful, I didn’t know which way I was going to go until I made the phone call.  It was almost like I closed my eyes and jumped without knowing if there was going to be someplace soft to land.  What I think I knew in my heart was that if I couldn’t walk away on today, of all days, then a little piece of me might always be trapped in the past. 

I thought this morning about whether I should treat myself and drive to work or walk but I decided that I wanted to start the next year of my life on the right foot, so off I walked.  I’m so glad I did because the walk home this evening was so soul refreshing.  It was misting like crazy and then about halfway the mist turned into big, sloppy raindrops.  When I started out tonight, I took a deep breath, turned my iPod down and walked face up into the rain.  I walked away from all the mistakes and nonsense and fat and heartache of this last year.  I consiously shed each one of the those things with every step I took.  I was walking fairly slowly and concentrating on letting the cool air and the rain wash it all away for a fresh start.  As I got further into the walk I realized that I had sped up considerably and it turned from walking away from things to walking toward something completely different.  I walked toward all my goals and a future of my own design.  I walked toward everything that I deserve.  Maybe that all sounds cheesy to you, I’m not sure.  What I do know is that I feel like a million bucks right now!

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18 Comments

  1. Tarable said,

    December 18, 2007 at 9:16 pm

    If you did what I think you did then I’m very proud of you, and you did the right thing. You had me a little worried about you but it sounds like you pulled through on the good end of things.

    I can’t believe your weight loss. It’s coming off you so fast. You must be so happy.

  2. Lady Shanny said,

    December 18, 2007 at 9:22 pm

    Yes, Tarable. I did what you think I did. I said ‘No’.

    And yes, I’m happy about the weight loss. Confused, but happy!

  3. Tarable said,

    December 18, 2007 at 10:11 pm

    How cryptic are we?? 🙂

  4. Lady Shanny said,

    December 18, 2007 at 10:15 pm

    We are very cryptic…and sneaky….and fun! I wonder if it drives other people crazy? Teeheee…

    When I was asked why I said ‘no’, I told the truth….the short version, but the truth nonetheless. And the other party was…um…well, the other party sounded very guilty and uncomfortable.

  5. Krystle said,

    December 18, 2007 at 10:29 pm

    Now I want in on the No! But, I’ll refrain! Because… if you wanted to share, you would have blogged about it. :o)

    Whatever it was, must have been a great decision… so, good for you!!

  6. marieclaude said,

    December 19, 2007 at 12:21 am

    Your post brought tears to my eyes, it’s so inspirational. Thank you, thank you!

    I don’t know what this ‘no’ was all about either, but I’m convinced it was the best decision 🙂

  7. Bev said,

    December 19, 2007 at 2:03 am

    What wonderful things you caused to happen on your birthday. I think you got the best present ever, the one you gave yourself.

  8. Hilary said,

    December 19, 2007 at 5:43 am

    Whatever decision you made, it very definitely sounds like it was the right one. Yay for catharsis :).

    As for the weight loss this week… Damn! Are you eating all your points? I’m very very happy for you but a little worried. I am *such* a worrywart. Tell me you’re eating plenty and I’ll relax ;).

    I hope you had a wonderful birthday!

  9. Lady Shanny said,

    December 19, 2007 at 7:11 am

    Hi Hilary,

    You’re not too far off base with the worrying. I DO eat all my points and I’m definitely not starving myself. But to be honest, after I weighed in last night I became a little concerned myself. Remember two weeks ago when I lost 5 pounds and I said that there was no freaking way that I burned 17,500 calories in a week? Well damn sure I didn’t burn 21,700 of them last week! Just yesterday I was complaining that something was giving me a tummy ache every day for the last couple of weeks and after some trial and error, we realized it was aspartame. One of the other side effects of aspartame is ‘marked weight loss’. So, as of today I am cutting out aspartame altogether. Not that I’m not happy about being down so much, but if it’s from a chemical then I need to fix that. There are down sides to losing too fast. I’m stuck in a hard spot right now because I don’t want to appear as though I’m not grateful. But this is ridiculous! We’ll wait a couple of weeks and see what happens.

  10. Hilary said,

    December 19, 2007 at 8:36 am

    Thanks for the response, darlin’. I really do worry about my blog buddies, see? You know, I think my diet sodas have been bugging my tummy, too. Maybe I will join you in ditching aspartame. I can’t say it’s contributed to any weight loss on my part, though ;).

    You miiiight want to think about using a few of your 35 “extra points.” The fact is, those points *used* to be built directly into the daily points, so people probably felt more comfortable using them because after all they were part of their daily points target range. WW’s roping them off as a separate pool of points has its dangers, I guess, because people feel like they are only meant to be used as “treat” points, sometimes, I think. Anyway, do what feels right for you, those are just some thoughts I had.

    Cutting out aspartame is a good thing, regardless :).

  11. Tarable said,

    December 19, 2007 at 8:59 am

    …going out to get a can of diet soda… 😉

  12. Hilary said,

    December 19, 2007 at 9:14 am

    Heh. I drink at least 3 cans a day, Tara.

  13. JanB said,

    December 19, 2007 at 11:10 am

    Congratulations on the loss, just be careful. Now, having said that, I can say that when I lost most of my weight my loss was about 3-4 lbs a week and many people who commented were worried about me. But I am ok.

  14. Anonymouse said,

    December 19, 2007 at 1:47 pm

    Whatever it was you said ‘no’ to, it sounds like congratulations are in order. Your post was very inspiring… poetic, even.

  15. Marueze said,

    December 19, 2007 at 5:00 pm

    Great Post. Yes, rain walking is so mentally refreshing. Glad to see you are in a good place.
    No decision – I can only put together the pieces and I am sure you made the best decision and should be proud that you were strong enough to.

  16. Siggy said,

    December 20, 2007 at 7:21 am

    Great read shanny!
    always an interesting read.

  17. The Empress said,

    December 29, 2007 at 6:59 pm

    Just catching up… your post had me wiping my eye… congratulations on the success!

  18. tomax7 said,

    January 1, 2008 at 10:51 am

    …very poetic – walking to and away from, in the rain – the drops as tears of release and joy…


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