Tears!

I’m really discouraged this evening.  The walk home tonight was so hard I was near tears.  The fronts of my legs were absolutely killing me.  It’s such a difference from this time last week.  Last week I was cruising right along, feeling fantastic, wondering why, if it was this much of a breeze, hadn’t I done it before.  And today?  Tears! 

It’s weird because when driving home from the station tonight after the walk from hell, I found myself feeling depressed.  Which is kind of crazy, considering all the good things I’ve been doing.  I cut ties with the person who made me miserable for 3 years, I’ve lost over 20lbs in 8 weeks, I’ve built new friendships, I’ve walked to and from work every day for a week and a half.  What on EARTH do I have to be depressed about?  All I wanted to do was come home and eat like a crazy person and then go to bed and forget about this whole thing.  Forget about WW, forget about walking, forget about drinking water, just forget it all!  But then I realized that I’ve arrived at the point in the road that comes during any major transition.  The point where you don’t want to go forward, but you can’t go back.  It’s not that I don’t want to lose the weight or keep working on my physical fitness.  I do.  I just don’t want it to be so hard!  The last 8 weeks, with the exception of only 2 days, have been a breeze. 

I know I’m extra tired from being sick earlier this week and I’m probably also a little tired because of The Reason, so I’m going to push through the last two days of this week and then take it easy on the weekend.  Wish me strength and endurance for these last two days!

BTW:  I didn’t come home and eat myself into a coma.  I had Thai Chicken w/ veggies and brown rice….which I love SO MUCH that I consider it a treat.  5 points.  And while I’m laying on the sofa relaxing this evening, I’m planning for an orange, a latte and some Crispy Minis.  Screw the empty calorie thing for one night, I need the comfort!

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8 Comments

  1. Tarable said,

    October 31, 2007 at 8:58 pm

    Been there. Been there. Been there.

    Come to think of it, I think I might even be there right now.

    All I can say is, don’t burn yourself out. When you’re at this point in the game, it doesn’t hurt to give yourself a break.

    Now if only I can take my own advice…

  2. Krystle said,

    October 31, 2007 at 9:16 pm

    Been there, done that. Time, and Time again.

    Good for your for giving yourself some “comfort” food, that isn’t necessarily bad for you.

    We all need days like this, right?

    You will get through these next two days, I know it.

  3. marieclaude said,

    November 1, 2007 at 5:57 am

    Gosh, I’ve been there too. And I’ll be there again from time to time, I just know it. It’s hard, isn’t it? A bit of comfort has never hurt anyone, you did the right thing. Keep it up, it’ll be worth it in the end…

  4. Tammy said,

    November 1, 2007 at 6:39 am

    It sounds like you have come to a point that you just need a day off and you deserve it. I tend to go overboard myself and then crash and burn. You have done a great job and you have every reason to be proud but the whole mental part of losing the weight can mix everything up. You did the right thing, kick back and relax and I’m sure you will make it through the next 2 days.

  5. willamina said,

    November 1, 2007 at 1:00 pm

    You need to do something nice for yourself, missy, whether it’s a manicure/pedicure-type thing, a new accessory, renting a guilty-pleasure DVD, or whatever . . . You’re working hard and it’s important to acknowledge that and treat yourself well.

  6. Anonymous said,

    November 1, 2007 at 4:16 pm

    On the pain in the fronts of your legs… if it’s pain in the fronts of your shins, get thee to a doctor for a referral to Kintec, to see about PROPER runners and perhaps orthotics… Don’t delay…. that was the reason I had to take six weeks off at th beginning of boot!

  7. Bev said,

    November 1, 2007 at 5:34 pm

    The wish for strength and endurance is coming your way. It’s time to retreat into your ‘cave’ and look inward to love yourself for what you have accomplished and what is still to come. Wrap yourself in warmth (your colorful blanket), drink a soy latte for relaxation and reach around behind and pat yourself on the back for being who you are. And know that ‘this too shall pass’.

  8. MamaBearJune said,

    November 1, 2007 at 5:43 pm

    Praying for strength for you for one more day until you can rest on the weekend. Be sure to take care of yourself and if it was the front of your shins that hurt, make sure it’s not shin splints. If it is, you’ll need to give your legs a break from walking. I got them during basic training many moons ago and know how much it hurts! Hoping you are feeling better.


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