The Long Road

I need to start this post off by making myself clear.  I have examined some of the ‘reasons’ behind why I’ve allowed myself to get fat.  But I don’t want anyone to ever think that I’m making excuses.  I was reading THIS website and realized that I need to borrow a line from his posts and say that I am fat because I eat too much and I’m lazy.  Sort of.  I definitely was eating too much of the wrong thing.  But I’m not so much lazy as I’ve been scared.   Scared to be vulnerable, scared to make changes, scared to try something and then fail.  Just scared.  The ‘reasons’ that I’ve been uncovering and detailing are simply catalysts that put me in a poor mindset and allowed me to put on that protective layer of fat.  They are not excuses or blame.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way!

It’s hard to remember the words of encouragement that I give other people.  That every day that I am responsible with my health and my body and my eating are good days.  Every day that I make the choice to choose healthful and sensible is a victory.  But it sure is seeming like a LONG road.  I’ve put everything I have into the last 4.5 weeks and it’s daunting to know that I will have to keep doing that forever.  I know that because I made the decision to follow this path, it will never be over.  I will have to be careful and responsible and make the choice to ‘make the choice’ every day.  I know that there is no end date for this journey, only milestones along the way.  But I’m so sad that I have to be doing this.  That I wasn’t able to make these realizations before.  That the ‘click’ didn’t come before I got here.  I think tomorrow I’m going to go and get Lady Shanny a small token of appreciation for the effort expended so far and as encouragement for the monumental amount of effort to come.

I swear sometimes, the encouragement and inspiration is out there, you just have to be willing to see it!  Example, I was blog-walking after I wrote this and found this quote on THIS website:

I’m not there yet, but I’m closer than I was yesterday” ~ Author Unknown

And then when I went looking, I found these:

“Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another” ~ Walter Elliot

“There is no telling how many miles you may have to run when chasing a dream” ~ Author Unknown

“The drops of rain make a hole in the stone, not by violence, but by oft falling” ~ Lucretius

“Difficult things take a long time, impossible things a little longer” ~ Author Unknown

1 Comment

  1. willamina said,

    October 7, 2007 at 9:07 am

    We must be on the same wavelength, Lady Shanny—I was just writing about fearing failure (in the guise of paralyzing perfectionism) this morning.

    Regarding the long road ahead, I think I know almost exactly how you feel! It’s times like these when 12-step program philosophy comes in handy: “One day at a time.” For now, don’t contemplate all the weeks and month ahead. Just take good care of yourself today. And more often than not, tomorrow takes care of itself.

    Also: you come across some great sites! Thanks for sharing!

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