I heart yoga!!!!!!!  Yoga is not exercise in the general sense of the word, but it is definitely work.  I didn’t realize just how unflexible and what a tight ball of knots I am.  Yoga and I are going to be good friends.

I know I’ve said it a couple of times on here, but I am amazed at myself.  Honestly.  If you know me in person as a close friend or relative, you would know that I do NOT go into unfamiliar situations alone, I do NOT try new things.  I have always been timid and nervous about things like that.  Now, if you know me in person as a casual friend, that may surprise you.  In familiar surroundings, with familiar people, I have no problem speaking up, being involved and putting myself out there.  But in alien territory it’s another story altogether.  Which is why I’m really surprised that I went to yoga tonight.  It’s why I’m surprised that I’ve gone to aquafit regularly.  It’s why I’m surprised that I’m rocking the weight loss thing.  This isn’t me.  At least not the me that I’ve known for the last 28.75 years.  But I like it.  I like this other person.  She has some confidence.  She has an inner strength that she didn’t have or didn’t recognize even a month ago. 

I’m still a little nervous that all of a sudden something is going to change and the new and improved Lady Shanny is going to take a nose-dive.  Is that dumb? 

In all seriousness, can anyone answer these questions: How do I figure out what’s different this time? How do I make sure that whatever it is becomes permanent?  How do I stop worrying that it’s all going to crash and burn?


  1. crookedeyebrow said,

    September 28, 2007 at 8:59 am

    Stop worrying first of all, take each day at a time so it doesn’t seem like a chore, but a new life journey.

    that’s all I got for a Friday!

    Yoga huh? I’ll have to try….

  2. Princess Darcy said,

    September 28, 2007 at 10:49 am

    Maybe you should stop obessessing about ‘what’s different’ and go with it… do you really want to know what’s different? I personally wouldn’t dig too deep on that one… it IS different, it IS working, and the WHY doesn’t really matter, does it? Not to say that you shouldn’t use this time for self discovery and awareness, but if you haven’t figured out by now what’s different, and no one can tell you, stop asking the question and be happy that something IS different!

  3. willamina said,

    September 28, 2007 at 12:46 pm

    you know how it’s hard to notice a person changing when you see them all the time? but if, say, this was a person you saw only once a year, the changes would seem incredibly dramatic. that’s how it is with ourselves, seeing ourselves and being with ourselves every moment of the day, it can be so hard to figure out how and why we’re changing.

    it’s really, really good that you’re journaling. that provides mini-time capsules of yourself for future reference. if you did any writing a year ago and compare it to your thoughts now, i bet there’s a contrast. and in that contrast lies the essence of what has been changing in you all along.

  4. katapilla22 said,

    September 29, 2007 at 7:43 pm

    It’s hard for someone else to say why it’s different for YOU this time, as no one is in your shoes. So I certainly can’t tell you the answers.

    An earlier comment you made: “I’m making sure that I take care of me first” seems to stand out in my mind though. Maybe that’s why it’s different this time? Maybe before you still weren’t fully putting yourself first? And maybe that’s the answer to making sure this is all permanent…is to keep taking care of your self first.

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