OK, I’m ready……

…..for the shoe to drop.  Really.  I can take it.  Oh, the shoe isn’t coming?  Really?

OK, I’m being silly, but the truth is, I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I’m waiting for someone to jump out of the bushes and yell “Ha-ha, we tricked you!  It’s going to get really hard now!”.  Because so far this is not hard.  Sure, it’s a bit of a pain in the arse to measure and weigh everything, but I chalk that up to learning a new skill called Portion Control. 

I’m actually sad because if I had known years ago that this isn’t a torturous way of eating and living, I could have spent a lot less time being fat.  I don’t know why it seems so easy now.  Why it seems so obvious, when every other time it was not obvious and certainly not easy.  Is it because I’m ready now?  Am I that different of a person now?  I know that personal struggle and trauma make us stronger and teach us lessons that we would otherwise not have learned.  But couldn’t I have had personal struggle and trauma as a skinny person?  No?  Dammit!

I caught myself this morning, 5.8lbs lighter than I was yesterday morning, second guessing myself.  I mean, how silly is that?  Obviously what I’m doing is working.  5.8lbs in one week!  And yet I couldn’t help but think that I was somehow doing it wrong, that next week the 5.8lbs would be back and each one of them would bring a friend.  I kept thinking that somehow it was a fluke.  And thinking like that is so disrespectful to myself.  I put forth a lot of effort to get that 5.8lbs off and I owe it to myself to be proud of what I did and what I am continuing to do.  I guess because I have failed so many times before that I am expecting myself to fail.  But I won’t!  I know that.  I know that I am following a proven food-lifestyle.  I think though, it has to do with suffering.  How many TV shows and movies and talk shows and magazine articles and books have we all absorbed that outline losing weight and following a healthy diet as something that you have to suffer through?  The fact is, on Weight Watchers, there is no suffering.  You don’t have to eat cardboard diet food.  You don’t have to eat anything that you don’t like.  If you knew me, you would know that I do not believe celery and olives should share the same planet as me.  They are disgusting, revolting, unappetizing, smelly excuses for a food product.  Honestly.  I could not hate them more!  And to me, in the pop-culture sense of the word, a ‘diet’ should be horrible and hard to follow and strenuous and time consuming and include the requirement of eating things that you don’t like.  I’m waiting for the WW meeting that I go to where they tell me “OK, you had an easy couple of weeks.  Now it’s time for the olive-celery portion of the program.” and then I run screaming from the building and chalk this up as another failure.  I know that’s not going to happen.  Because this time is different.  I don’t know how, I just know in my heart, my mind and my gut, that THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT!

Do you have any preconcieved notions of what losing weight should be like?  A particular food that would make you quit a program if you had to eat it?  Anything that you want to know or to talk about here?  As you can see, I’m quite wordy and if I have any experience in the area, I will expound on it to no end. 

And lastly, a lovely woman, Hueyea, put a note in my comments today.  It was a phrase that I had never heard before but have taken to heart:

PERSISTENCE NOT PERFECTION

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3 Comments

  1. Bev said,

    September 12, 2007 at 8:26 pm

    The ‘olive-celery portion of the program’??? You are hilarious. It was different for me this time too. In my case, it is what would have made me quit if I had to give it up, not what would have made me quit if I had to eat it. I refused to give up the wine but I can do without the bread, pasta and rice. The pizza was a bit harder but I have worked through and around that too. I found something good on sparkpeople.com. It is:
    I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what’s going to happen next. –Gilda Radner
    This was posted on a message board talking about ‘tips for recovering after a stumble’.
    That’s all for tonight.

  2. Princess Darcy said,

    September 13, 2007 at 8:51 am

    I have no thoughts on this… simply because if I wanted something bad enough, I’d eat what I had to eat… I mean, I wouldn’t eat poo (continuing with the theme of discusing poo in every comment), but I don’t think there’s anythign I wouldn’t choke down if someone told me it would help get me to a goal… Luckily there’s no program like that and no olive celery portion of any diet plan… In fact, if you think about it, there’s really no olive celery portion of your life… they’re your decisions to make, about eating, drinking, living… and you get to make them all!
    Viva La Celery!

  3. Tarable said,

    September 13, 2007 at 7:58 pm

    For the most part, I’m with you on the celery and olives. Although I will occassionally consume cleverly disguised celery – say, cooked in a bowl of chicken soup. And I have recently started TOLERATING olives on my pizza. But then again – you could put poop on pizza and smother it in cheese and I’d probably still eat it. (That one’s for you Princess Darcy)


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