Welcome to My Journey

My journey is one of weight loss, one of rediscovering myself, who I am and making the outside match the inside.  I don’t know what this blog will turn into.  I’m not sure if it will be a self reflection?  Or if it will be funny like my other website?  Maybe both.  I just know that I didn’t want to chronicle this journey on “On Another Note”.  Maybe at some point I’ll link the two.  Maybe at some point I’ll put some pictures up.  But for now, I will say that at 6:30pm on September 4, 2007 I weighed 249.8lbs.  My heaviest weight yet.  That was the date and time that I went to my first Weight Watchers meeting.

 I made the decision to go to WW when I finally admitted to myself that I feel too old for my age.  When I finally admitted to myself that I have so many minor health issues that I can’t remember them all, let alone cope with them.  When I finally admitted that I can wish for the weight to go away forever, but until I actually DO something about it, I will get fatter and fatter and fatter.  I admitted that this would not be easy.  I admitted that I would not enjoy it some days.  I admitted that my weight will always be an issue.  I also refused to be fat on my 30th birthday, which as of today is 15 months and 12 days away.  I noticed people around me who are heavier start to lose weight and I felt left behind.  But why?  No one is leaving me behind.  I’m leaving me behind.  By doing nothing I am committing myself to a life of fat, and all that goes with it. 

The scary thing is, I’ve made this effort before.  I’ve made the committment before.  And here I am, making it again.  Why?  Because I didn’t stick with it.  I have no doubt that WW works.  I have no doubt that The Zone works.  I have no doubt that eating less calories than you burn in a day will result in losing weight (it’s a basic law of physics).  But why haven’t I stuck with it?  I know some of the reasons.

* I am scared that people will not like me for who I am.  By people, I mean men.  So I put the layer of fat on and then blame that for why I’m single.

* I have never been the current me at a smaller size and I don’t know what that would be like.  Fear of unknown.

* I worry that once I slim down, I will find someone (read:  man) and won’t be alone anymore.  I know that is a direct contradiction of the first point.  But I have been alone for a long time and changing my living situation, having someone else want something from me, depending on someone else and possibly being disappointed, those are all scary things.

* I don’t want to put my trust in people because I have been disappointed too many times.  Keeping the fat on is an excuse to not go out and do anything or meet anyone.  I can’t be disappointed by you if I’ve never met you.

Those are some of the reasons why previous attempts haven’t worked.  Some of the reasons haven’t been uncovered yet.  So why is this time different?  For one thing, this website.  I don’t journal.  Never have, never will.  But blogging is extremely cathartic for me.  Writing is something that I am very good at, something that I enjoy.  So this blog will help in a couple of ways.  First, it gives me something to do when I’m itching to lay on the couch and eat.  Second, I find that when I have nothing to write about, it’s because of an emotional log-jam.  So if I sit here and force the words out, I can sometimes discover things about myself that I wasn’t aware of.  And I figure out new coping mechanisms.   All of which will be shared on this website.  Those days that I don’t know what to write, chances are you will see a quote of some type at the top and my thoughts on it.  I know lots of people don’t like blogs with quotes on them, but I find it a good way to get the juices flowing.

Now, on to the actual lifestyle.  I’ve only been doing it for 3 days.  But let me tell you!  If you drink the amount of water they want you to (8 glasses/day, one glass=250ml), you will notice a change immediately.  Even my drag-drags felt looser.  The water has made my skin glow and my eyes sparkle again.  I had no idea how dull and pasty I was getting.  The meal plan is not restrictive for me.  It does restrict portion size and calorie intake, but not ridiculously.  I don’t feel hungry at all.  The best part for me is that, unlike The Zone (which was effective for me in the past), there are no off-limit foods.  You can have whatever you want.  For instance, an english muffin is 3 points (I currently get 30 points/day).  On The Zone, that type of thing is essentially forbidden.  I am also able to eat just what I want, when I want.  Z had a pretty specific eating schedule and very specific food combinations (you could not just have an apple as a snack, it had to be combined with a protein source).  I see some benefit to reducing things like potatos and rice because the amount you get for the points you have to ‘spend’ is really minute.  But if you want it?  Go nuts.  But when the points are gone at the end of the day you better have made the proper choices because the food is over until the next day.

I think that’s where I’ll leave off for today.  I do not write this blog because I want to advertise my personal struggle.  I write this blog because it helps me.  It is easier for me to write as though someone will be reading it.  And so, if you stumble across this site and have read this far, go ahead and leave me a comment.  Agree with me?  Struggling in your own weight loss?  And if you don’t want to comment, that’s fine too. 

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11 Comments

  1. Tarable said,

    September 8, 2007 at 12:24 pm

    Yay for you! I’ll be playing along with the home game in this journey.

    Good luck to us both.

    (Pretty blog by the way)

  2. shannon12271 said,

    September 8, 2007 at 2:30 pm

    Thanks for the ‘hurrah’. And luck? We don’t need no stinkin’ luck! You and me? We have a PLAN! 🙂 We have a plan that we both know perfectly well that it works and how to do it. One meal at a time!

  3. Tarable said,

    September 9, 2007 at 12:41 am

    I like your style, girl… I like your style… (but a little luck never hurts)

  4. hueyea said,

    September 10, 2007 at 12:57 pm

    Hey Shannon, just reading your first blog and loving it! I’ll let you in on a little secret. Actually it’s not really a secret but.. Village Hearth makes a very good light english muffin for only 1 pt! I’ve tried alot of the WW, Thomas’s, and so forth, but Village Hearth is the best hands down. I’m kinda a foodie, that’s what got me into trouble. Hoping I can use my power for good instead of evil. LOL

  5. Krystle said,

    September 12, 2007 at 7:59 am

    Oh I wish I could read a whole bunch… couple more hours and it’s lunch time. Unfortunately work has to come first. Sigh!

  6. crookedeyebrow said,

    September 15, 2007 at 1:38 pm

    Thanks for stopping by, I had just set my blog up and you were my first. Here goes nothing right? I’ll stop back to see how you are doing!

  7. willamina said,

    September 26, 2007 at 6:46 pm

    I’m so glad you dropped by my blog… I relate to so much of what I’ve read here on your site so far.

    “I do not write this blog because I want to advertise my personal struggle. I write this blog because it helps me. ”

    AMEN to that!

  8. pantrypuff said,

    November 3, 2007 at 1:34 pm

    Been struggling with this very issue for about10 years. I’m reading your blog for inspiration and I reall find it encouraging. It’s nice to know I’m not alone…Thanks

  9. Hilary said,

    December 18, 2007 at 3:10 pm

    I find myself perusing your archives this afternoon, Miss Shanny. Of course I’ve been reading along right from the beginning, but sometimes it’s helpful to revisit old posts.

    Plus, it’s slow at work because of the approaching holidays, and I’m sitting here feeling kind of dispirited. So here I am! Thanks for your blog and for being you.

  10. Me said,

    December 29, 2007 at 11:25 am

    I am looking forward to reading your blog. There is one line in your first entry that I really like. I will have to quote it in my next post. I will spend the next several days reading your blog. I am quite certain it will encourage and challenge me.

  11. Ready2Shrink said,

    February 15, 2008 at 1:57 pm

    Howdy! I am playing catch up with your blog right now. I am currently on my own weight loss journey as well and looking for inspiration all over the place! 🙂


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